


Season 1: Little Show of Horrors

by MapNerdB (Lonespark_the_friendly_kraken)



Series: Behind the Scenes [1]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Hugs, LARPing, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, UST, strangers to friends with feelings, the inherent eroticism of swordfighting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:09:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28886622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonespark_the_friendly_kraken/pseuds/MapNerdB
Summary: This show could be his big break
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Series: Behind the Scenes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134284
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An AU where they are actors playing fictionalized versions of themselves, Nandor isn´t many centuries old, and vampires are integrated into society.
> 
> Big thanks to shinyfire for beta & encouragement

Nandor is thrilled that his hair and renaissance faire experience are assets this time. Speaking Persian seals the deal. This show could be his big break, if the blend of scripting, improv, and audience interaction catches on. He'll be less nervous once Mr. Broadway Bigshot arrives.

Guillermo de la Cruz looks younger than his bearded headshot, but his presence commands every room, in a gently charming way. He takes Nandor out for drinks, and draws him into a conversation about their experiences in the industry. It feels really good to share his perspective, but Nandor can be awkward without a script.

When Nandor says, "It's a cliche profession for vampires, but I really like it!" Guillermo smiles encouragingly and nods, sipping his margarita de tunas rojas. Nandor's sangría verdadera is excellent and well worth the price.

"Everyone expects you to stick with theatre,” Nandor explains, ¨And it's a proud tradition, but I prefer TV. And that's... not an easy sell, if you don't stick to playing vampires. A lot of people get fang surgery..." 

Guillermo shakes his head vehemently. 

"Fuck that! Who you are is good enough!" He gazes earnestly into Nandor's eyes, and reaches out to squeeze his shoulder. 

Nandor shrugs.

"It's not that big of a deal to land a dream job. Pretty much just cosmetic. Like..." he tries to think of comparable examples.

"...circumcision..." _No, Nandor thinks, examples that don't refer to penises, or hint at your past in adult film!_  
"...or liposuction" _No, examples that don't insult your gorgeous fat scene partner!_  
"...or, or... getting tattoos! Piercing your belly button!" Guillermo shakes his head, laughing, and changes the subject.

As they gather up their belongings, and Nandor leaves a generous tip, he fidgets, looking everywhere but at Guillermo. Once they're outside, he feels a hand on his elbow. 

¨Hey,¨ Guillermo says, ¨I'm a hugger. Is that ok with you?¨ Nandor nods, and is promptly enveloped in strong arms and soft warmth. It's overwhelmingly comforting and wonderful. He leans down into the embrace, trying not to give off desperate, touch-starved-for-decades-vibes.

¨It is a big deal,¨ Guillermo tells him. ¨No one should have to change to get roles. If anyone tells you otherwise, I´ll be glad to kick some ass.¨ 

¨Thanks,¨ Nandor says, patting his shoulder. ¨That means a lot.¨

He starts to pull away, but Guillermo holds him tighter.


	2. Chapter 2

Guillermo is a vampire. It looks really good on him. Everything does. Nandor wonders vaguely if he turned him on set. That's very illegal, but he'd do it in a second if his co-star asked.

Vampire Guillermo bares his fangs and snarls. He seizes Nandor by the hair, tipping his head back to expose the soft flesh of his throat. Nandor almost comes in his pants as he realizes three things simultaneously:

1\. He's dreaming. 2. He's human in this dream. 3. He´s about to die, and he´s really going to enjoy it.

That's when his alarm goes off.

***

In the real world, it's cold as Jack Frost’s taint, but Nandor for some reason agreed to get up at what is, for him, Ass O´Clock, on his day off, for a boffer combat LARP.

That reason is Guillermo, fully human and aggressively chipper. He´s singing when Nandor shows up, climbing on the hay bales set up to be obstacles, belting out some song about Skid Row. He´s also unreasonably attractive, in his bright pink sneakers, thermal tights, basketball shorts, and sweatshirt that says, "Thespians Do It Six Nights A Week!" 

When the mosquito hunters all show up, and Derek and Guillermo start into a rendition of some romantic song about someone named Seymour, Nandor grinds his teeth in irrational jealousy and sulks. He ends up taking out some of that unhappiness on Guillermo's team, cutting them down one by one until only Guillermo is left. 

The inherent erotic tension of swordfighting kicks in, and Nandor would be happy to do this all day, moving in a (fictionally) deadly dance with the alluring Sr. de la Cruz while they stare into each other's eyes. It is not to be however, because Guillermo doesn't really know what he's doing. Nandor does a showy, impressive stroke that he's sure will be easily blocked, but instead the full force of it crashes into Guillermo's nose.

He drops to his knees, a mess of blood and tears dripping onto his sweatshirt, and shrugs off Nandor's proffered supporting hand. The vampire already feels wretched before Colin Robinson makes it worse, with a joke about sucking on Guillermo´s nose. Who even invited him? Fucking guy. 

Many icepacks and apologies later, Derek drives Guillermo home, and Nandor drags his miserable self back to his apartment. He sends a groveling email with more self-flagellation and thanks for the invite, but hears nothing from Guillermo til they're back on set. 

Back at work on Monday, it seems like everyone wants to joke about the fearsome, Relentless vampire making their star look like a prizefighter who lost. Nandor tries not to let it get to him, but fails.

Guillermo catches him in the hall on a break, blessing him with a shoulder squeeze and a gentle smile, which improves his day immeasurably.

¨It wasn't your fault," Guillermo offers. "It does seem like me having a bad day ruined your weekend, which is both pitiful and really self-centered, so that part´s on you.¨ Nandor hangs his head in shame.

¨But,” Guilermo continues, “It was kind of my fault, too. You obviously know your way around weapons, and that's one area of acting I don't have any experience with yet. Stunts in general, really, and I´m looking to change that on this job...¨

¨I could teach you!¨ Nandor breaks in, immediately regretting his boldness, but barreling ahead nonetheless.

Guillermo´s eyes widen in surprise and interest. He leans into his hand, considering, but gets interrupted by the call back to work.


End file.
